A

DIFFERENT

LADY.

………..Becoming the lady you ought to be…………

ALADEJARE ABIMBOLA

INTRODUCTION

When I was much younger, I always wondered why I found myself among the unfortunate sex, the ones created by God to be second class citizens to their counterparts; a group of people who could only function as ‘vice’-this and ‘vice’ that. In those days, I hated being a girl and wondered why we got chased up and down like preys. I wondered if it was a crime to be in skirt.

A few years later, I became ashamed to be a girl - seeing what other girls do with their lives. I was disgusted with the lifestyle of thousand of ladies on campus and also at what I saw the entertainment industry do with them. This dissatisfaction and anger pushed me to deliberately observe, question and find out what was the real plan of God for the feminine gender.

 

My observation revealed that an average lady does not believe she has anything of value deposited inside her, of which her generation can benefit from, other than her beautiful lips or her shapely and sexy body. The answers to my question unveiled the fact that those who believe they can ride big cars, live in wonderful apartments, wear good clothes and live satisfactorily can only achieve that when their dream guy shows up - or alternatively, on the bill of older men. They call this runs. I realized that something has really gone wrong with our mentality. We have all come to accept a lie about ourselves, our worth, value and our assignment as givers of life.

This book: The Different Lady is targeted towards addressing the dysfunctional mentality of a lady about herself, her value and worth. It focuses on the expectation of God and humanity from her, irrespective of the societal challenges (peer and societal pressure, reproductive health issues, sexual pressure and harassments) and other issues associated with growing up that suggests otherwise.

Chapter one defines who a lady is, her characteristics, the adolescent’s choices among myriads of alternatives and the dangers of neigbourhood mentoring.

Chapter two gives insight to the societal vices associated with growing up as a young lady, peer pressure, reproductive health issues of an adolescent and life building skills needed for survival from these vices. These are addressed from a personal point of view.

The third chapter focuses on the roles of a lady. It talks about God and the society’s expectation from a lady. It drives home the fact that every lady has a great and glorious destiny and an impact to make here on earth before they leave;   irrespective of all the aforementioned vices.

The extent to which a lady should pay attention to society’s definition of adventure/fun is the focus of the fourth chapter, using the story of a lady whose youthful exuberance jeopardized her career when she discovered that she was HIV positive.

The fifth chapter talks about the relationship between a lady’s present youthful period and her future. It emphasizes the need to plan now for the future rather than wasting destiny by doing nothing other than flaunting one’s sexuality. The illustration given is that of a farmer who must cultivate a fallow ground, fertilize the soil, plant crops, weed and harvest produce if he must claim ownership of x,000tonnes of cocoa or y,000 tubers of  yam. It gives practical ways that can reveal a lady’s purpose to her and takes a lady through personal examination of her natural gifts, her passion, and her natural abilities among others.

The focus of the next chapter is the life chart of a lady but with special emphasis on adolescence. It gives report based challenges, cultural practices that predispose a teenager to sexual abuse and HIV/AIDS and teenage pregnancy - among others.

Chapter six encourages an adolescent to delay sexual gratification till the appropriate time which is her wedding night. The writer shares the benefits of chastity from a personal experience, and also the trying phase of waiting on God for a life partner.

A lady’s relationship with her Maker follows in chapter seven with an examination of how a good relationship with God can help a lady to live an impactful life and be a blessing to generations unborn, citing ordinary ladies like Esther who impacted their generation greatly.

The power of a lady’s response to a proposal from the opposite sex is extensively discussed under the chapter title ‘who will she marry’. This exposes the danger of associating with guys who don’t understand vision and purpose.

The ninth chapter focuses on how a lady’s lifestyle now can influence the upbringing of her girl child while the last chapter explores the part of a lady in Nation building.

The 10-Chapter book is written to empower the girl child to live an examplinary life and prepare for marriage and motherhood.

watch out!